Giving and Receiving

Per request I am adding the talk that I gave today at church. I still feel it is a bit muddled but oh well!  Don't feel obligated to read... but for those few of you who want to--here it is.

The wise men gave gifts to the Christ child and we give gifts to one another at Christmas.   When King Benjamin is teaching his people just prior to his death he reminds them to teach their children, “to love one another, and to serve one another” (Mosiah 4:15).  Loving and serving someone is the best kind of gift we can give.  Christ showed us by example how to be a cheerful giver of our time and talents. Christmas is a time of giving. I think that as adults we recognize this and then without realizing it we send the opposite message to our children.  We’re always asking the children in our lives, “What do you want?” or “What is Santa going to bring you?”  So how do we mesh these two ideas?

I don’t pretend to have all the answers.  I have a 3-year-old who, every time he sees something remotely interesting at the store--whether it's in the toy section or the groceries--tells me, “I want that for my birthday.”  But today I’ll share just a few traditions we have in our home that I feel help to teach our children to love giving.  First, stop asking what they want!  Once we find out a few things they want we just stop talking about it.  Most of the time, if we don’t bring it up, neither do they.  

Then we start focusing on the giving.  Several years ago I started working with my boys weeks before Christmas to come up with ideas of what to give their brothers.  Because we didn’t have a lot of money to spare and I didn’t want just another toy to clutter up the house we decided to make the gifts.  The boys worked hard on their gifts and I remember them being so excited to give on Christmas morning.  It was such a great experience that we have made it a tradition.  Every year we come up with something and the boys get more and more excited as they put their time and love into it. I love the story that President Uchtdorf told in the Christmas Devotional this year about the picture he drew for his sister which she treated like a treasure.  He said, “How I love her for that.”  He also told of the toy knife carved by his brother for him.  It doesn’t have to be big or extravagant just heartfelt.  

A friend of mine from high school did something wonderful this year.  Early in the month she and her three young children held a bake sale.  All the money they earned was used to buy toys for needy children.  They were able to purchase 19 toys to donate. Her children loved the entire experience—especially dropping the toys off at the fire station.  What a wonderful lesson in giving!

The next tradition actually comes from my family growing up and I loved it so much that we do it in our home as well.  (In fact, as I talked to each of my sisters this week about this topic every one of them mentioned this tradition).  On Christmas morning as we divide up the gifts each person starts with 2 piles: one of the gifts we have received from parents, grandparents, friends and the other is the gifts that we are giving.  The youngest starts first and picks a gift from their “giving” pile and gives it to the person.  I remember Christmas mornings being so excited to hand out my gifts thinking of how much that person would like their gift and knowing the thought I had put into it.  It was fun to see that family member really receive the gift instead of everyone tearing through their presents one after another.  It also gives the receiver a chance to look the giver in the eyes and give a heartfelt “thank you.”

President Uchtdorf reminded us in the Christmas Devotional, “Not surprisingly, the Savior is our perfect example not only of generous giving but also of gracious receiving. When He was in Bethany, near the end of His mortal ministry, a woman approached Him with an alabaster box of rare and expensive oil. She was allowed to anoint His head with this precious gift.

Some who witnessed this event became angry. “What a waste of money,” they said. The oil was extremely expensive. It could have been sold and the money given to the poor. They saw only the temporal value of the gift and entirely missed its much greater spiritual significance.

But the Savior understood the symbolism and the expression of love in that gift, and He received it graciously.”

We teach our children so much by example.  If we are not gracious recipients—of compliments or service rendered--then how can we expect our children to be!  A few weeks ago in his primary class my oldest son made a card for his brother.  It was very simple.  It said “To James From William.  You are awesome.”  

But James treasured that gift!  He carried it around and read it aloud to anyone who would listen.  He felt the love in that gift and by receiving it so well he made the giver of that gift feel highly appreciated.

President Monson said, “Let us make Christmas real. It isn’t just tinsel and ribbon, unless we have made it so in our lives. Christmas is the spirit of giving without a thought of getting. It is happiness because we see joy in people. It is forgetting self and finding time for others. It is discarding the meaningless and stressing the true values. It is peace because we have found peace in the Savior’s teachings. It is the time we realize most deeply that the more love is expended, the more there is of it for others.”   

I hope at this Christmas time that we can remember Christ’s example of generous giving and gracious receiving and keep Him as our focus. I'm grateful for this season where we are reminded of Christ's birth and more importantly His life. He was the perfect example to us in all aspects of life and He made it possible for us to return to live with our Father in Heaven one day.